Sat in the A&E chair next to the A&E bed I was reading a book and reflecting on what I had been through. I was a cubicle but apparently I was not injured enough to be told to lie down in the bed - I had to sit in the chair, as if to say, come on Ronnie, wimp girl, suck it up. Having gone in with a sore thumb (yeah I know but it really smarted), I was told I had something which I informed the Doctor was Latin for Dodgy Swollen Thumb. He didn't laugh probably like you aren't laughing now, but I think it is at least smilable. [Keep 'em smiling I say then they are more likely to think you can handle any truth and tell it to you quicker.]
Incredible as it seemed to me, Dodgy Swollen Thumb Condition (DSTC) actually required a course of IV antibiotics, of which I was receiving the last dose.
I've experienced some physical pain in my life: Getting kicked by thoroughbred horse as he galloped off was pretty painful, stubbing my foot so hard I broke a toe was pretty rough, six weeks off work with a buldging disk and we're getting higher on my pain scale, giving birth to my son (he was the second one, six hours, not too bad really), giving birth to my daughter as she protected her beautiful face with one hand on it (I can't even think about it without shedding a little pain memory tear).
So I didn't think when I discovered from the Doctor that I had DSTC that it would be too much trouble. By my third day, waiting for the third IV dose, I had come to realize that in Ronnie's world of pain tolerance DSTC is higher up the scale than first imagined.
DSTC Schedule of Pain
Day 1
Doctor prodding of swollen infected thumb - Ouch factor 3
Nurse putting in IV in my hand (five days later still bruised) - Ouch factor 7
Day 2
Nurse putting IV in arm this time, much better - Ouch factor 4
Day 3
Third IV in the arm again, for reason this hurt more, is the other arm more sensitive - Ouch factor 5
Told by self proclaimed Dr No Pain that thumb needs to be cut, looked aghast and asked if a coward, replied yes doctor and referred him to nurses notes from aforementioned child births - Admition factor 10
Ten needles in the thumb to create ring block - Ouch factor 3-7
Cutting of thumb - Ouch factor 0, Mental freak out when I looked factor 7
Wearing off of anesthetic (should have taken pain meds sooner) - Ouch factor 10
Day 4
Last IV needle, I'm old hat with this one now - Ouch factor 3
Taking off of post-op dressing, Dr No Pain tells me to take the last bit off myself, presumably to keep his reputation in tact, feel like skin being ripped off - Ouch factor 8
Examination of cut (read needless prodding of exposed flesh) - Ouch factor 15
Dr No Pain asks "Oh is it hurting?", smile and nod - Self control factor 100
Days 1-4
Removal of IV tape from arm, horrible every time, like slow waxing - Ouch factor 7
Throughout this process I've described to exactly two doctors and five nurses, exactly what kind of wimp I am, when it comes to physical pain. I felt it necessary so they didn't believe themselves to have accidently done something wrong. However, I have been informed seven times that actually this is not so and what I've experienced is actually quite painful. Is this true or a white lie? All I know is that it hurt me, a lot. There is no denying it, no Feng shuing it away by clearing out my pain corner, no meditating it into submission.
You see pain really hurts! You can't imagine it away, sometimes you can muddy it's waters with helpful medication, but eventually it wears off. So here are my tips for surviving pain - the physical mild to medium non permanent sort
1) Don't look, no really don't look, pain plus mental freak out, no good
2) Ask what is going to happen beforehand (the first time the IV went in I cried because of the thought that I would have a needle in my arm and what would happen if I moved and tore my vein - I wish I had just asked, like I did two days later, then I would have realized it is just a piece of plastic tubing in there)
3) Break it up into sections, this bit will feel like this, this bit will feel like that, and then you can mentally mark them off as you go, progress you see
4) Don't compare - you are in pain, it hurts, you aren't a traitor to humanity and other people in worse off cases for admitting it hurts
5) Don't pretend it doesn't - seriously what good does that do, a little yelp here and there eases the tension
6) Stay in control - think about what is actually real about this situation and make factual statements to yourself about it, e.g. gosh that hurts right now, it won't hurt so much once the needle is out.
7) Make jokes - it's something to do, you laugh, the nurse laughs, it's all good and it passes valuable pain seconds
On a serious note...
I marvel at people who intentionally subject themselves to pain of any kind. I'm not talking about the mentalists who do it for no reason. No. But the hero types. You know, the ones that push people out the way of moving traffic to save them, but getting hit themselves.
That's one of the many reasons I love Jesus. I was his enemy, but he took horrible pain and death to save me, so I could be with him. It's the only comparison when it comes to pain I'll ever make, nothing compares to what he suffered for me. If pain didn't exist, he wouldn't have been able to do it for me. It makes me a little glad for pain.
