We've had some lovely moments over the few short years we've had our children, lovely disgusting moments, including but not limited to: weeing in the face, weeing on the floor, weeing in the bed, pooping in the knickers, projectile pooping, pooping on the floor (this closely followed by me stepping in it). So you can imagine our anticipation as our youngest begins the awful, ahem, wonderful potty training process. However, at the end of Day 1, I was very encouraged heralding my son as a toilet genius, having had no accidents whatsoever!
After some careful consideration I think I have narrowed down the key differences between first and second child that has led to this simply amazing success.
Step 1
Through sheer exhaustion of having two children and working full time, subject child to frequent episodes of one particular cartoon (in our case mickey mouse clubhouse), begin this about two months before starting the training
Step 2
Visit local toy store and purchase cartoon related colouring book, visit friend for playdate who has cartoon related toys, talk about cartoon at times when you can think of nothing else to say
Step 3
Do all the usual potty books, talking about the potty if you want to, it's neither here nor there
Step 4
Finally, after child is throughly enthused and emits squeals of delight at the mere mention of cartoon, purchase new underwear featuring favourite cartoon character
Step 5
On the morning of the first, show child new underwear.
"Now then, Johnny, Mickey Mouse doesn't like poo poo or pee pee to go on him, he says it has to go in the potty."
And off you go!
So, people, this I declare is: how to potty train.
100% success rate guaranteed for 24 hours until child decides to randomly poop on the floor again.
[Thankfully, I had already left for work - wahoo!!!! This one's for you Hubbie!]
Friday, 24 May 2013
Saturday, 18 May 2013
On accidents...
Accident is an interesting word you know, it covers a plethora of events.
[Side note: I was once told that the definition of the word plethora included the word "of" and so you didn't need to put it after the word, e.g. I should have just written "plethora events". I don't know if this is actually true but it sounds awful. So forgive me, please, I will stick with being incorrect but sounding nice.]
So yes, a plethora of events, I was saying: injuries, incidents, forgetfulness, laziness, carelessness.
Here are some examples (I'll go with a lettered list today just to mix it up.):
A) Whoops, I just stepped on your toe, sorry, love, it was an accident.
C) Or Miss I accidentally left my homework on the kitchen counter.
That's interesting, Billy. I have it here in my hand from when you left it in the classroom yesterday.
D) Mummy, I just had an accident. On the floor. Where you just stepped.
You see I don't think there is any such thing. The phrase 'it was an accident' implies a lack of blame, but there is always blame. You should have been looking where you were going, you should have thought about what to pack in your bag, you shouldn't have been so lazy you couldn't be bothered to walk to the bathroom.
We use it as a way of excusing ourselves, of getting out of admitting what we have done wrong. Like the boy who pooped on the floor because he was too lazy to use the bathroom, or the careless girl who was too busy texting to avoid your foot, we are all responsible for our actions. There are no accidents. If someone is hurt, then someone is to blame.
Am I being too harsh?
[Side note: I was once told that the definition of the word plethora included the word "of" and so you didn't need to put it after the word, e.g. I should have just written "plethora events". I don't know if this is actually true but it sounds awful. So forgive me, please, I will stick with being incorrect but sounding nice.]
So yes, a plethora of events, I was saying: injuries, incidents, forgetfulness, laziness, carelessness.
Here are some examples (I'll go with a lettered list today just to mix it up.):
A) Whoops, I just stepped on your toe, sorry, love, it was an accident.
C) Or Miss I accidentally left my homework on the kitchen counter.
That's interesting, Billy. I have it here in my hand from when you left it in the classroom yesterday.
D) Mummy, I just had an accident. On the floor. Where you just stepped.
You see I don't think there is any such thing. The phrase 'it was an accident' implies a lack of blame, but there is always blame. You should have been looking where you were going, you should have thought about what to pack in your bag, you shouldn't have been so lazy you couldn't be bothered to walk to the bathroom.
We use it as a way of excusing ourselves, of getting out of admitting what we have done wrong. Like the boy who pooped on the floor because he was too lazy to use the bathroom, or the careless girl who was too busy texting to avoid your foot, we are all responsible for our actions. There are no accidents. If someone is hurt, then someone is to blame.
Am I being too harsh?
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
On being tired...
Things that make me tired:
1) Doing the washing up
You've done it, the sink is all nice and clear and then literally within 30 seconds somebody places another item in there! I mean, come on! Where is the mystical washing up fairy that I heard so much about growing up? Not at my house that's for sure. My friend says that housework is pearls on a thread (or something like that). Well I'm sorry, my dear friend, that pearl thread is making me tired.
2) Repeating myself
Sit down, please. Sit down, please. Sit down, please.
Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet.
Do your work. Do your work. Do your work.
Come here, please. Come here, please. Come here, please.
I shouldn't do it. I shouldn't repeat myself. I should just expect that they do it the first time.
I just get trapped in my own repetition cycle, like a broken record, it's a habit now. I just say everything three times. Try spending a day saying everything three times over. How do you feel at the end?
3) People who don't want to accept when they've done something wrong
Obviously, this happens more to me than your average Joe because of my profession.
Discipling people to a point where they can take responsibility is exhausting work! It's take time and patience. At this time of year, we teachers are running low on both.
4) Watching just one more Netflix show
This probably should have been at the top.
I'm watching the 4400 at the moment. It's utter nonsense, and yet I'm completely hooked!
I just have to know what will happen next! Even if it means I will lose out on my much needed sleep.
5) Paperwork
It's never ending.
It's never ending.
It's never ending.
1) Doing the washing up
You've done it, the sink is all nice and clear and then literally within 30 seconds somebody places another item in there! I mean, come on! Where is the mystical washing up fairy that I heard so much about growing up? Not at my house that's for sure. My friend says that housework is pearls on a thread (or something like that). Well I'm sorry, my dear friend, that pearl thread is making me tired.
2) Repeating myself
Sit down, please. Sit down, please. Sit down, please.
Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet.
Do your work. Do your work. Do your work.
Come here, please. Come here, please. Come here, please.
I shouldn't do it. I shouldn't repeat myself. I should just expect that they do it the first time.
I just get trapped in my own repetition cycle, like a broken record, it's a habit now. I just say everything three times. Try spending a day saying everything three times over. How do you feel at the end?
3) People who don't want to accept when they've done something wrong
Obviously, this happens more to me than your average Joe because of my profession.
Discipling people to a point where they can take responsibility is exhausting work! It's take time and patience. At this time of year, we teachers are running low on both.
4) Watching just one more Netflix show
This probably should have been at the top.
I'm watching the 4400 at the moment. It's utter nonsense, and yet I'm completely hooked!
I just have to know what will happen next! Even if it means I will lose out on my much needed sleep.
5) Paperwork
It's never ending.
It's never ending.
It's never ending.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Basic Obedience verses Blind Obedience
I recently had a conversation with a student about following instructions.
The student had been sent to me because they were in the canteen hanging around. The supervising teacher had asked the student to step back from the area but he had refused to follow the instruction.
Me: So you were in the canteen?
Student: Yes
Me: The teacher asked you to move back
Student: Yes
Me: And you didn't move back?
Student: No
Me: Why not?
Student: Why should I have to move from where I was standing if I wasn't doing anything wrong?
[The student is smart you see, like a clever politician in an interview, rejecting the premise of the question.]
Me: Because the teacher told you to
[Now I'm trapped in justifying myself, little trickster.]
Student: But I wasn't doing anything wrong
Me: It doesn't matter
Student: I should be able to stand where I want
Me: Really?
[Phew, get it back here, now the student has to justify themselves.]
Student: Yes
Me: So if you are standing on the street, not doing anything wrong and a Police Officer asks you to move, would you?
Student: No
Me: Wow! You are going to get arrested!
Student: No I'm not.
[The student's last resort - point blank denial.]
And on the conversation continued.
Now, just to be clear my point is not to criticise, as this student genuinely believed himself to be in the right.
But as I sit and think about it now, I wonder to myself was he right or was I?
Do instructions need a justification?
Should we encourage our young people to say "Yes, ma'am" and just do it, or is questioning the reasoning for an instruction a good practice?
Should we be teaching our young people how to ask for reasons for instructions in obedient ways?
The student had been sent to me because they were in the canteen hanging around. The supervising teacher had asked the student to step back from the area but he had refused to follow the instruction.
Me: So you were in the canteen?
Student: Yes
Me: The teacher asked you to move back
Student: Yes
Me: And you didn't move back?
Student: No
Me: Why not?
Student: Why should I have to move from where I was standing if I wasn't doing anything wrong?
[The student is smart you see, like a clever politician in an interview, rejecting the premise of the question.]
Me: Because the teacher told you to
[Now I'm trapped in justifying myself, little trickster.]
Student: But I wasn't doing anything wrong
Me: It doesn't matter
Student: I should be able to stand where I want
Me: Really?
[Phew, get it back here, now the student has to justify themselves.]
Student: Yes
Me: So if you are standing on the street, not doing anything wrong and a Police Officer asks you to move, would you?
Student: No
Me: Wow! You are going to get arrested!
Student: No I'm not.
[The student's last resort - point blank denial.]
And on the conversation continued.
Now, just to be clear my point is not to criticise, as this student genuinely believed himself to be in the right.
But as I sit and think about it now, I wonder to myself was he right or was I?
Do instructions need a justification?
Should we encourage our young people to say "Yes, ma'am" and just do it, or is questioning the reasoning for an instruction a good practice?
Should we be teaching our young people how to ask for reasons for instructions in obedient ways?
Monday, 6 May 2013
The Blu-aise Maths
Maths, you are sooo wonderful.
Maths, you are so truuuue.
Maths, you are so punishing, you leave my mind black and bluuuue.
Maths, you are so beautiful.
Maths, you are so cleeeean.
Maths, you are so pitying, you created your own calculator, that my teacher still has not seen.
Oh Maths! Oh Maths!
Where would we be without you!
Oh Maths! Oh Maths!
Your purpose so hidden from me!
Oh Maths! Ooooh Maths!
Some days I can, some days I can't, and this is always case
Just when I think I've got the answer right, you come and slap me in the face!
Just make up your tune. I just sang part of it to my husband - he's calling 911 to have me committed.
Sunday, 5 May 2013
Introduction and a note on pipping your horn
Everyone blogs, so I'm going to as well. I've resisted Blackberry's, IPads, IPhones, an Ilife but in this area I seemed to have slipped. Perhaps it is just an urge to be heard, a narcissistic tendency that has finally burst out. I hope it will just be a way to share the random goings on of my adventures in Cayman.
I'm Christian. I'm one of those crazy extremists too. I actually believe that the whole of the Bible is true, that God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, that you ought to lay down your life for your brother, that you should forgive much because you have been forgiven much. Just so you know. Just so as to warn you if you are one reading at a distance.
So, on pipping your horn. I received a comment from a friend today, one I've had many times before. Something along the lines of "I saw you driving along the road and I was beeping and waving but you didn't see me!"
[FYI: for the Non-Caymanians, people pip their horns by way of a friendly greeting here, I think other Caribbean countries too.]
Listen, I'm going to lay it out here.
1) When I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm trying not to crash. I've crashed once. It was awful. Never again if I can help it. I don't have time for your pleasantries! I'm trying not to get my legs mashed up or brains splattered out!
2) It may be friendly here, but I just can't get into it. Where I come from, pipping your horn is an angry thing, something you do to someone who has just cut you up, pulled out in front of you, generally got in your way and broken either a spoken or unspoken rule of the road. So if you're pipping me then I'm thinking: "What? What did I do?"
3) If I pip m'horn at you, it's because you just pushed me towards the boundaries of having to use my brakes sharply. Come on dude! Driving is about flow! Merge with the traffic!
My sister will be cracking up here - I'm sure she still remembers my frantic driving around London at the age of 19, when I went to pick her up. Flow I was not.
So remember folks, pipping is not for Ronnie's.
Love to you all.
I'm Christian. I'm one of those crazy extremists too. I actually believe that the whole of the Bible is true, that God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, that you ought to lay down your life for your brother, that you should forgive much because you have been forgiven much. Just so you know. Just so as to warn you if you are one reading at a distance.
So, on pipping your horn. I received a comment from a friend today, one I've had many times before. Something along the lines of "I saw you driving along the road and I was beeping and waving but you didn't see me!"
[FYI: for the Non-Caymanians, people pip their horns by way of a friendly greeting here, I think other Caribbean countries too.]
Listen, I'm going to lay it out here.
1) When I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm trying not to crash. I've crashed once. It was awful. Never again if I can help it. I don't have time for your pleasantries! I'm trying not to get my legs mashed up or brains splattered out!
2) It may be friendly here, but I just can't get into it. Where I come from, pipping your horn is an angry thing, something you do to someone who has just cut you up, pulled out in front of you, generally got in your way and broken either a spoken or unspoken rule of the road. So if you're pipping me then I'm thinking: "What? What did I do?"
3) If I pip m'horn at you, it's because you just pushed me towards the boundaries of having to use my brakes sharply. Come on dude! Driving is about flow! Merge with the traffic!
My sister will be cracking up here - I'm sure she still remembers my frantic driving around London at the age of 19, when I went to pick her up. Flow I was not.
So remember folks, pipping is not for Ronnie's.
Love to you all.
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